1 00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:04,804 Please, please, please. Okay, what is this? 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:07,133 We're making sure I'm tall enough to ride all the rides at Disneyland ... 3 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,684 without having to spike up my hair. 4 00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,308 Buddy, we are good to go. 5 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,138 - Sweet! - I have been waiting for this day ... 6 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:17,022 ever since the doctor pointed to the ultrasound of your mom's womb and said, 7 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,977 "Either that's a fifth limb"- 8 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,529 Okay, no. Gross. 9 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,982 All right. I want everybody to eat a lot at home ... 10 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,033 because The Happiest Place on Earth ... 11 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,486 is also home to the most expensive churro on earth. 12 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:31,540 Come on. This is gonna be awesome. Who doesn't love a day at Disneyland? 13 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,242 Can't you and Mom go without me? 14 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,623 You're the kid. I think we need you to get in. 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,295 Well, it couldn't come on a worse day. 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,089 The technology sector is tanking. 17 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,543 We're doing a stock market project in school, and today's the last day. 18 00:00:42,626 --> 00:00:44,879 We all get a thousand fake dollars to invest, 19 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,635 and as of market close yesterday, 20 00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,386 I'm in the lead. 21 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,888 I may not be the tallest or the most athletic, 22 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,891 but someday I will be the richest. 23 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,143 Which is good, because the ladies love that. 24 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:58,146 And I've grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle. 25 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,478 Do you really want girls who only want you for your money? 26 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,780 I'd like to have that option. 27 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,279 Manny, put the stock away and put your ears on. 28 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,531 Mom, I don't think you have to wear one of these. 29 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,362 Be a kid! Put them on! 30 00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,491 Really? Those shoes? What? 31 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,623 Do you know how much walking you have to do at Disneyland? 32 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:19,171 Why do you think they have so many fat people on scooters? 33 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:21,340 I like wearing the high heels. I'm fine. 34 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:25,045 This is just like that jacket you refuse to bring when I say, "Take a jacket." 35 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,221 "Don't tell me what to do! I'm fine!" 36 00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,549 Huh? And you're not fine. You're cold and shivering, 37 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,225 and I look like the jerk who won't give his wife a jacket. 38 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,099 So I do. And then I'm cold and shivering, 39 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,679 and I brought a jacket. 40 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,390 Are you done with your boring jacket story? 41 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:39,975 Because we're going to hit traffic. 42 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,437 I'll tell you one thing. I'm not gonna give you my shoes. 43 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,524 Ah! That must be Ethan. 44 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,655 Who's Ethan? Didn't I tell you? 45 00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,157 My friend Bethenny's nephew is coming with us today. 46 00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:53,113 He moved to town to go to college. 47 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,949 He's very nice, very smart- big hockey player. 48 00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,748 I know what you're doing. Really? She was so subtle. 49 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:02,877 Haley has a thing for bad boys, which was so me. 50 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,799 Clearly. 51 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,298 So, if she's going to be leaving the nest soon, 52 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,345 we'd prefer it was not on the back of a motorcycle. 53 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,137 My college roommate had a motorcycle. Mmm. 54 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,889 Man, I had some good times on the back of that thing. 55 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,934 Can't believe you did this. I'm not gonna babysit Bethenny's nephew. 56 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,479 Alex can have him. Okay, I don't need your rejects. 57 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,352 Hi, Ethan! Hi. 58 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,730 I'm so glad you could make it. Thanks for inviting me. 59 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,856 Sure. Hi. I'm Al- 60 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,362 My 14-year-old sister. Ethan, was it? 61 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,036 - Yeah. - Oh. 62 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:35,656 63 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,741 64 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,792 65 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,666 66 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:42,917 67 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,801 And that's my grandpa and his wife, Gloria, 68 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,344 and her son, Manny. 69 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,012 Wow. You guys have a big family. 70 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,511 Big family. 71 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,142 She likes him! Yeah, who wouldn't? 72 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:57,891 Where'd you find him, a Tommy Hilfiger catalog? 73 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,855 He got a 2200 on his S.A.T.'s. 74 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,399 And those eyes. 75 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,147 Okay. Did you get him for Haley or for you? 76 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,694 Mitchell. 77 00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,067 You know, I haven't been here since Dad brought us when we were kids. 78 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:09,773 Oh, yeah. Remember? 79 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,858 You cried in the Abraham Lincoln thing. 80 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:15,992 Hey, he was a great president, and it was the first robot I ever saw. 81 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:19,993 When Claire and Mitchell were young, their mom and I were gonna take them to Disneyland. 82 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:23,295 But that morning, Dede and I got in this huge fight over something or other- 83 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,872 surprise, surprise- 84 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,583 and I ended up taking them on my own. 85 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,465 Claire's biggest fear was running into the evil queen. 86 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,764 My biggest fear was that I married her. 87 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:38,265 Okay, people over 46 inches, first stop- Indiana Jones! 88 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,138 - Have fun on the teacups, Lily. - Okay, let's do this. 89 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,815 Oh, okay, wait. Just a second here, everybody. 90 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,151 All right. 91 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,563 Is that a leash? No, it's a child safety tether. 92 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,148 This way, sweetie. 93 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,950 It- it's a leash. Don't- Don't judge us. 94 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,323 Go on. 95 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,868 We have a runner. Lily is going through a phase- 96 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,868 At least- Oh, we hope it's a phase. She bolts every chance she gets. 97 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,748 Lily. 98 00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,454 Lily! 99 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,335 Lily! 100 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:10,042 So we had no choice but to put her on a child safety tether. 101 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,593 It's a leash. 102 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,012 And we did have a choice. 103 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,557 Lily, sweetie, don't pull. 104 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,768 Lily, heel! Dad. 105 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,437 If I'd have known you guys were gonna do this, I'd have brought Stella. 106 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,431 It was Cam's idea. So much for the united front. 107 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,937 I'll have you know, despite all yourjokes, Lily enjoys it. 108 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,858 Okay, sweetie. You're not helping. 109 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,938 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You guys- Is that Dylan? 110 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,569 What? Aw, geez. 111 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,284 Dylan? Oh. Hey! 112 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:39,158 Uh, what are you- I didn't even know you were in town. 113 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,081 Either did I ... know you were in town. 114 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,659 This town. Anaheim. 115 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,619 I thought you were still in Wyoming. 116 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:49,377 I was, uh, but, um- 117 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,879 Oh, shoot. You know, I, uh, gotta meet up with some friends, 118 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,676 and I'm ... really late. 119 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,472 It was nice to see you, Haley, and everybody. 120 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,015 Hi. 121 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,764 - And dude I don't know. - I'm Ethan. it's nice to meet you. 122 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,937 And polite dude I don't know. 123 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,022 Did Haley used to date that guy or something? 124 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:13,150 Yep. You date her, that's the club you're joining. 125 00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,653 Of course he would still look amazing. 126 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,860 Does he? I hadn't noticed. 127 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,742 Did you know that Ethan plays the trumpet? 128 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,745 No great surprise with those lips of his, huh? 129 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,623 Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson. 130 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,703 Okay, buddy, moment of truth. 131 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,541 Yes! Whoo! Yes! 132 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,886 This is gonna be so awesome! Yeah! 133 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:42,509 In 45 minutes, this is gonna be so awesome! 134 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,435 Yeah! 135 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,021 Look, Reuben, I have some underperformers I have to unload, 136 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,148 and I don't have access to a computer. 137 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,946 Log in as "Money Delgado." Manny! 138 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,649 By all means, Reuben, go get a Popsicle while the Nikkei closes. 139 00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,447 I want to be a pauper. Come on. 140 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,403 Mom, my stocks just took a dive. 141 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,659 Your phone is about to take a dive. 142 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,365 Come on! Where do we want to go next? 143 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,576 Oh! Ethan and I want to try the Haunted Mansion. 144 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,161 There is no "you and Ethan." 145 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,292 Let's go to the Jungle Cruise. It's right there. 146 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,998 Why? Tired of walking in those heels? 147 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:16,176 No. You tired of being with a hot wife? 148 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,845 Well, well, well. What do you know? Another caring parent with a child safety tether. 149 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,550 See? We're not the only people who use them. 150 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,394 Hi! Aren't they adorable? Oh, and look at your cutie! 151 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,312 Oh, well, yes. She just wanted to say hi. 152 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,106 Oh. Sorry. They're a little feisty today. 153 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,060 - Oh! No problem. She's friendly. - Oh. Rex, gentle. 154 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,566 - Oh. His name's Rex, huh? - Yeah. 155 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,522 Okay. Lily. No, sweetie- Lily, um- 156 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,820 Sorry. He just gets excited. Oh, yeah, no- Oh, no problem. 157 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,823 Lily, stop moving, sweetie. Stop moving. 158 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,867 Okay, you got this. Okay. Okay, good girl! Good girl! Sorry. 159 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,252 You know what the fight with Dede was about? 160 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:53,922 I taped a football game over an episode of Dallas. 161 00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:58,002 Who bails on a family trip to Disneyland over something like that? 162 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,712 Ironically, Dallas was playing in the game. 163 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,014 And I remember pointing that out to her, 164 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,218 and then I remember a videocassette flying at my head. 165 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:09,563 You do not' play the cello. I do. Even geekier- I'm good. 166 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,353 Okay, answer me this- I will answer you this. 167 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,685 Why do people carry cellos around? 168 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,021 You know, people aren't expected to lug a piano around. 169 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,613 What's the cutoff? I know, right? 170 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:21,612 Like, go where the cello is. 171 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:26,447 Oh, look at this. I think I've inadvertently set up my 14-year-old with a college boy. 172 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,073 The boy was your doing? Yes. 173 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:31,330 Yes, and he was perfect, and Haley was into him, 174 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,036 until, of course, we ran into Dylan. 175 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,247 I mean, come on, Dad. What are the odds of that happening? 176 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:36,874 It's a small world. Yes, it is. 177 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,501 See what I did there? It's a ride. I did. Got it. I got it. 178 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,838 It's just so frustrating because I know I can't run Haley's life for her, 179 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,016 but if she would let me, I would be so good at it. 180 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:49,015 Right, 'cause parents always know what's best for their kids. 181 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,813 You remember that nice girl at the office I tried to fix Mitch up with? 182 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,390 No offense, Dad, but I think ... 183 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,477 I probably have a better sense of what my kids need than you did. 184 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:59,195 I think it's cute you think that. Oh. 185 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,524 Mom! It was so awesome! 186 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,157 The jeep was jerking around, and- and there was a lot of sharp turns and big drops. 187 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,745 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It just kept going. 188 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,991 Wow. You okay? Great. Why wouldn't I be? 189 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,620 Because you're kind of leaning on me. isn't that what a marriage is? 190 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,956 Oh, Alex, stop touching him. 191 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,333 You look like hell. 192 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,963 Feel a little dizzy. 193 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,510 I think that ride did something to me. 194 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,178 Fluid in your inner ear is thickening. 195 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,138 That's what happens when you get old. It is? 196 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,182 Yeah, you can't take the motion. 197 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,681 I gotta pop a Dramamine to get in my swivel chair. 198 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,809 That is not it. I'm king of the roller coasters. 199 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:37,230 I think I just put too big of a whipped cream smile on my pancake this morning. 200 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,854 You guys wanna go on Matterhorn? Luke, I think me and your dad are gonna sit this one out, 201 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,439 maybe get one of them big pickles. 202 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,492 No! You're gonna have to eat that pickle on your own, Jay. 203 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,490 I still got a few good years left. 204 00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,448 Luke, wait up! I'll race you there! 205 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,618 I'm good. I'm good. 206 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,670 Okay, everybody's looking at us. 207 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:04,090 I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods. 208 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,388 Yeah. Well, maybe they're staring because we have what they want. 209 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,636 Wh- Oh, a pet daughter. Is that- 210 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,217 You know, I don't care what people think. 211 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,768 If I thought it would keep my daughter safe, 212 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,641 I would have a kangaroo pouch sewn into my midriff. 213 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,564 That's gonna work out really well for you as a single parent. 214 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,767 Okay, we just got a glare from Mr. Socks-With-Sandals. 215 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,318 All right. That's it. 216 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,779 Lily, I'm gonna take off this leash. I think it's a mistake. 217 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,528 But I don't want you to run away, 'cause that would be very, very unsafe. 218 00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:30,078 And if we lost you, you'd be very scared, and we'd be very sad, okay? 219 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,663 Okay. All right. 220 00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:35,163 See, Cam? You treat her like a human being, and she acts like one. 221 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,538 Chip 'n' Dale! 222 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,337 Oh, great. Now she's chasing squirrels. Lily! 223 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,877 Honey, come on! Lily! Lily! 224 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,591 - Hey, how was Splash Mountain? - It was great. Maybe we go again. 225 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,675 No, thanks. There was no reception in there. 226 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,853 You know how many bars I had? Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. 227 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,930 Reuben, talk to me! 228 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,937 Must be nice to get out of those shoes for a minute. 229 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,814 I don't know what you're talking about. 230 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,486 Nothing. I'm just making conversation. 231 00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:05,563 Hey. Check it out. 232 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:10,403 I bought one of those souvenir photos with you and Manny on the ride. 233 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,533 Boy, it looks like you're having a good time. 234 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,614 Wait a minute. What's that in your hand? 235 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,199 Are those shoes? 236 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,034 I'm not even sure that that is us, Jay. 237 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,665 Why are you walking around in pain? 238 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,917 Just admit the shoes were a bad idea. 239 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,589 I am not in pain. 240 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:27,260 I just didn't want my favorite walking shoes to get wet there. 241 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,053 Okay. My bad. 242 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,674 Well, we've gotta meet everybody in Tomorrowland, so we'd better get movin', 243 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,805 'cause it's all the way on the other side of the park. 244 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,386 I'm fine. 245 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,892 You just try to keep up with us. 246 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,522 I can't take this. 247 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,905 Dad, throw your hands up! it's fun! 248 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,948 Oh, yeah, it is fun! 249 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,033 Hey! Yeah! 250 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,110 Whoo! Hey. 251 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:56,448 Whoa! Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 252 00:10:56,531 --> 00:11:01,162 Reuben, if you heard about that stock at a birthday party, it's already too late. 253 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,996 Gloria! 254 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,547 Gloria, sit down for a second. 255 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,042 I'm fine, Jay. Please? 256 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,421 Look, you may not be in pain. Okay. 257 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,631 But I'm in pain just thinking you're in pain. 258 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:16,510 So humor me for one minute. What are those? 259 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:20,097 There wasn't a big selection at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. 260 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,682 Are you crazy? 261 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:25,735 I cannot walk around in public with these ... things. 262 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,063 They're so yellow and so ugly. 263 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:32,401 And- And they're so softy and so comfortable. 264 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,110 Jay, what is this? 265 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,034 Thank you for going shopping for me. 266 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,366 Thank you for worrying about my feet. 267 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:43,044 Thank you for giving me your jacket when I'm cold. 268 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,668 Such a good man, Jay. Thank you. 269 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,873 Mmm. 270 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,001 Wow. 271 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,883 I didn't expect you to be so- 272 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:53,963 so nice. 273 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,051 Why are you so surprised? 274 00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,808 Now, please, don't go all Latin on me when I say this. 275 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:05,814 Is it possible you get angry, from time to time, 276 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,145 because you're always wearing ... 277 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,151 uncomfortable shoes? 278 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,160 Maybe. 279 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,330 Can you get me a couple of more? 280 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,495 Maybe they have purple? Whatever you want, honey. 281 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:27,081 All I'm saying is, it seemed like you were pretty into Ethan until Dylan showed up. 282 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:30,007 Don't get me wrong. Ethan's nice, but he's no Dylan. 283 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,585 Maybe that's a good thing? 284 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,591 Why? Because Dylan's a free spirit? 285 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:37,049 He's too edgy for you? He plays by his own rules? 286 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,301 Oh, my God. What? 287 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,981 I beg of you to turn around and experience with me the greatest moment of my life. 288 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:49,607 You're the one I adore 289 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,859 Your rebel boyfriends a Dapper Dan. 290 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,950 Maybe that's not him. 291 00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:58,320 Oh! 3 It won't be a stylish- 292 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:01,368 Dylan! Uh- Uh, sorry. Sorry. 293 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:03,700 Certainly seems like him. 294 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:09,456 Oh, my God. He looked like those old pictures of Dad from high school. 295 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,961 Mm-hmm. 296 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,508 I'm really into street art at the moment. 297 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,335 There's a really great exhibit downtown. I'll take you. 298 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:18,306 Oh, on what, your Razor scooter? Mom wants you. Uh- Uh- 299 00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:21,225 Ethan, I've been looking all over for you! 300 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:27,311 I remember I was on Pirates of the Caribbean, 301 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,143 and this whole fight with Dede was really eating at me. 302 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,696 And there was this angry animatronic wench with a rolling pin ... 303 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,364 chasing some poor pirate around. 304 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,034 They were on a track, running in circles, 305 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,328 so he could never get away from her. 306 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,121 And I remember thinking, 307 00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:44,699 "I can't save you, buddy, 308 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,784 but I'm getting off this ride." 309 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,291 A-And we- A-And we were going around a corner, 310 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,839 and I was screaming, and I swallowed a bug! 311 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,212 Oh, being tall is everything that I dreamed it would be. 312 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,462 What should we do next? Sit down. 313 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:59,806 Where we gonna sit down? The ground. Here. This is good. Right here. 314 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:01,424 Oh! Are you okay, Dad? 315 00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:03,851 No, I'm not okay. 316 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,645 I hate to say this, but these rides are killing me. 317 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:09,937 But you're the king of roller coasters. I know! 318 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:12,394 Something happens when you get older. 319 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,196 Guess you can't take it. 320 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:19,367 One of my favorite things in the world is doing stupid fun stuff with you, 321 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,742 like pogo-stick basketball or trying to get a swing to go all the way around. 322 00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:25,323 Next time, we should sit on a fire extinguisher. 323 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:28,167 Yes, or a bottle of Coke and some Mentos. Ah. 324 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,540 Honestly, though, the way I'm feeling right now, 325 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,588 I don't know if there's gonna be a next time. 326 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,634 Dad, we can always find cool stuff to do. 327 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,053 Even if you're old and in a wheelchair, 328 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,802 I'll take you to the mall and push you as fast as you wanna go. 329 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,304 Really? You'd do that? 330 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,853 Heck, yeah. And we'll pop some wheelies too. 331 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,564 That sounds fun. And I'll take you to the top of a huge hill and just let go. 332 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,645 Okay, we'll nail down the specifics later, but that- that's really nice. 333 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,939 So, do you still wanna talk or- 334 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,487 No, go. Ride Space Mountain. 335 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,694 Hey. Hey, uh, at the end, when they take a picture, 336 00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:04,404 do something hilarious for both of us. 337 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,114 You're gonna die. 338 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,038 When you see it, not 'cause you're old. Yup. 339 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,915 Whoo! 340 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,246 Lily! Lily, stop! 341 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,501 Dad! Dad, grab her! 342 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,296 Hey! I got ya, you little monkey! Thank you. 343 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,003 Hey, Cam, I got her. We're in Fantasyland. Where are you? 344 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,173 Okay, it's Toontown, not "Toonton." 345 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,054 You've been watching too much PBS. 346 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,852 Thank you. All right, honey. Come here. 347 00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,604 I don't like this thing. Yeah? 348 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,561 Well, I don't like running like a crazy person through Downton- Downtown Disney. 349 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,234 I don't know what to do. The leash is not the answer. 350 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:40,064 - You want my help? - Yes, please! 351 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,071 'Cause I can fix this for you in about two minutes. 352 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,869 Come on, baby girl. Come with me. We'll be right back. 353 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,535 Okay. Where we going? Oh, this way? 354 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,955 Ugh! 355 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,664 Manny, you don't sound very happy for a kid that is flying an elephant. 356 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,090 I lost to Durkas. It's not fair. 357 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,794 He wanted to buy IBM because he thought it was funny to say. 358 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:04,347 Well, I'm glad that you lost. Fake money has changed you. 359 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:07,972 Where is the Manny that used to stop to smell the roses? 360 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,144 He took a bath on a solar start-up in San Jose. 361 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,598 You have been so busy burying your face in your phone ... 362 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:15,979 that you barely said hello to your family, 363 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,652 you gave Winnie-the-Pooh the cold shoulder ... 364 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:22,073 and you haven't even noticed that pretty girl in the blue elephant ... 365 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,946 that has been smiling at you. 366 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,954 Not my type. But still, nice to be noticed. 367 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:31,329 You see what happens when you're not burying your head in business? 368 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,535 You're right. I'll try to be more present. 369 00:16:36,579 --> 00:16:39,332 What the heck's on your feet? They're slippers. 370 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,884 They're like pillows. 371 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:44,803 Attagirl. 372 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,632 You're welcome. 373 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:49,183 Look. Your dad got her baby high heels, 374 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,010 which we said we were never gonna let her wear. 375 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,266 - I love 'em. - You look gorgeous, sweetie. 376 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,939 Oh, my God. You thought people judged us before? 377 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,309 Wait till they meet Little Miss Anaheim. Who cares? Look at her. 378 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,018 She can barely move. 379 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:01,354 Thank you, Dad. 380 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:04,281 You know what? She's got pretty good garns for a 3-year-old. 381 00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:08,403 Cheese! 382 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,372 Got it. Thanks, Little John. Thank you. 383 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,371 Aw. Oh! They have corn dogs. 384 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,418 We gotta get one before we go back. They are legendary. 385 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,538 I'll be right back. Okay. 386 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:22,046 Haley! It's me, Dylan. 387 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,798 I'm in the bear suit. I borrowed it to talk to you. 388 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,754 Why are you dancing like that? 389 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,760 This is what Little John does. 390 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,887 Maybe. I don't know what movie this dude is from. 391 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,685 I'm not even supposed to be talking to you. 392 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,512 Well, I'm not talking to you. 393 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,723 No, you can talk. 394 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,729 I know. But I'm mad. 395 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,731 You came back to town and didn't even call me. 396 00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,562 I was embarrassed. 397 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:46,821 I lost my job at the dude ranch, and I wanted to get my act together first. 398 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,776 What, the four-dweebs-on-a-bike act? 399 00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:53,205 Okay, the Dapper Dans are a Main Street tradition since 1959. 400 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,783 Hey. What's going on? 401 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,875 Nothing. 402 00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:59,249 I still love her, Ethan. 403 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,668 Okay, how do you know my name? it's Dylan. 404 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:04,170 Look, I don't wanna harsh your day, 405 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,971 but I've never stopped loving Haley, and I never will! 406 00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,672 I-Is this some sort of joke? 407 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:12,725 - Do I look like I'm joking? - Dylan, let's not do this now. 408 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,929 It has to be now. I've got a parade at 3:00. 409 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:17,480 Hey, seriously, dude, back off. 410 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:20,274 Okay. That was my face. 411 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,693 And you're the one who needs to back off. 412 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,815 Oh! Oh. Ho! You- 413 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:30,447 Okay. This thing's kinda heavy. I can't get up. 414 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,871 Ethan? Ethan, what is going on? What are you doing? 415 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,823 Uh, hi, Mrs. Dunphy. Help me up. 416 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:38,034 Oh. No. 417 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,543 If I could get up, I would- 418 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,673 Come on, Lily, sweetie. Keep up, honey. Come on. 419 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:50,471 Phil, you don't look like you're doing very well. 420 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,846 Maybe because I officially became an old man back there at Thunder Mountain. 421 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:58,054 Oh. Oh, my goodness. You are burning up. You might have the flu. 422 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:04,603 A bunch of guys at work had the flu, and we all drink orange juice out of the same carton. 423 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:07,071 We should get cups. Hmm. 424 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,695 Luke, did you hear that? I have the flu! 425 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,367 Glad we didn't share that pickle. 426 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:13,865 Hey, everybody. 427 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,537 Oh, hey- Hey, guys. Where's Ethan? 428 00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,411 Oh, he's staying. He ran into some friends. 429 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,164 But Dylan got fired, so- Don't freak out. 430 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,495 We have to give him a ride home. 431 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,580 And we're back together. Yay. 432 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:29,010 Hey, no one goes home till we hit the Lincoln thing. 433 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,679 Yawn. Don't even try to fight it. 434 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,222 Yeah, he made us go when we were kids. 435 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:37,393 Come on, people. It's a robotic president. What's not to love? 436 00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,970 The robotic president? 437 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:41,852 So my plan was, drive Claire and Mitchell home, 438 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:46,402 put them to bed, pour myself a big tumbler of scotch ... 439 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,195 and tell Dede it was over. 440 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:50,523 But on the way out, we made one last stop. 441 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:54,486 If destruction be our lot, 442 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:59,369 we ourselves must be its author and finisher. 443 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,918 As a nation of free men, 444 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,416 we must live through all times- 445 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:09,217 I don't know what happened. Maybe it's what robot Lincoln said about a man's duty ... 446 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:12,090 or keeping the Union together. 447 00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:14,888 Maybe I just chickened out. 448 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,342 But I realized that staying with my kids ... 449 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,269 was more impo?ant than leaving my wife. 450 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,893 Now that's not the right decision for everyone, 451 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,066 but it' was the right decision for me. 452 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,769 And in that faith, 453 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,946 let us, to the end, 454 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,523 dare to do our duty ... 455 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,108 as we understand it. 456 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,660 So I stuck it out until they were grown. 457 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,115 Jay, you want to join me in the Jacuzzi? 458 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:43,497 And the universe rewarded me. 459 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,164 Oh, yeah. Here we go. 460 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,749 Hey, Dad, roller coaster fist bump. 461 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,384 Whoa! Whoo! 462 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:56,214 Whoo! Whoo! 463 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:59,217 Oh. Oh! 464 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:00,809 Oh. What was that? 465 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,854 Whoo! 466 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,567 This is gonna be so awesome! Whoo! Hey! 467 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,565 Close your eyes. It makes it more fun. 468 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,275 Oh, yeah. That is more fun. 469 00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,487 Ooh. Oh! 470 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:30,581 English - US - PSDH